well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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