apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want to make out with him forever
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize