You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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