she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize