i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize