i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize