the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
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Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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