every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize