Quick, to the slutcave!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His nipple licking is glorious
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