I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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