drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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