mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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