how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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