i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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