Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
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My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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