She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize