grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think my moral compass just broke
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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