anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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