Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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