I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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