what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
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