I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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