and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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