How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize