Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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