would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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