smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My hand turned me down
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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