Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize