how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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