it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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