okay pat passed out under dana's car
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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