bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I have post one night stand depression
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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