yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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