Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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