Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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