we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ketchup is God's man juice
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize