Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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