speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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