Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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