I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize