White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize