I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
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