My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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