I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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