Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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