laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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