so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
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The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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