C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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