You made me cry and you don't even care
Dual....:-)
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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