If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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