I just cut my nipple shaving
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize