No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize