I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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